Troubled Minds. Troubled Hearts.

Yesterday we found out that an old friend has passed away. He was only 38 years old. When I asked around at first what happen they said it was due to a nightmare or during his sleep or a heart attack. All the while I was thinking life was too short, and I couldn’t help but just think of heading home and just be with my kids and pour them with more hugs and kisses and attention. I didn’t even want to be away from them.

And a news broke out and it stunned us. He committed suicide.
He was a very protective guy. He jokes around, laughs around and you wouldn’t see a tiny bit of burden or problem from him. He was indeed someone that you’d want to hang out with just chat the night away. He will stop at nothing to make you laugh. He was like a big brother to anyone, and no matter how drunk you are he’d look after you. I haven’t seen him for a long time, and how I wish I could have kept in touch.

He had a lot of friends, but no one knew the reason behind this tragedy. What was happening and what triggered it. They only said that he was unhappy at work. This was something unbelievable and very shocking to everyone. I was thinking maybe I could have helped him, but he had more friends that I could ever imagine. What else could have I done? But I sure do hope that, I wish I was given a chance to have at least tried..

That’s when it got me thinking that life is and will always be unfair for some, and the burdens of some are way over what they can really take. Some say it may have cause of some financial struggle, that he had a debt that he couldn’t figure a way out of. Some said he was suffering depression. My question is, he had a lot of people to count on, talk to.. but why no one figured that something was wrong? Why didn’t he reached out? He was probably troubled in his mind, and he probably thought that ending his life was the solution. I do not know what is going through his wife’s mind right now. Let alone his daughter. They must be questioning themselves to as to what went wrong. 😢

This is what scares me the most.. people who are struggling, inside of them. They tend to go into this dark places and sometimes they get lost. I do get that sometimes, I guess, I am just one of the lucky ones who will try to dust it off and shake my head off the negativity. But I know that I am still scared.

Recently, there has been quite a high rise of suicides back here, especially with kids ranging from 11-16. Why do they do it? Pressure from academics, they got scolded because they weren’t doing great in school, bullied in school, isolation, loneliness and so much more. I wish I have a voice to reach out to them. To tell them it’s alright not to be okay sometimes, and it’s alright to feel weak and cry, but always remember that they aren’t alone in this battle. Whatever they are going through in life, mentally, emotionally even physically. There will always be someone who is going through the same thing so hang on tight. Call out. REACH OUT. It’s okay to show your weaknesses. It’s okay that you are not feeling okay.

I know I am not perfect, but everyday, I try as much as I can to be kind, to be nice. No matter how rude a stranger can be, I sometimes put in my head that maybe he/she’s just having a bad day and just let it go.

There’s a whole world out there and everyone is fighting their own battles. Life is hard and its never going to be easy.. but nothing is TOO HARD. Call out. Reach out. People will help. There will always be someone willing to help. I know I am.

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